What a difference a decade makes

Wow, another decade down. Does it seem that they just go faster and faster? It doesn't seem like 10 years since the Y2K scare. Maybe that is a sign of growing older, but when I look back, boy is my life different.

2000
I had just started a new job at the church in the office. Just me and the youth director. There was a part time interim minister. To say "on the job training" doesn't even describe it! More like self-trained. We had been in our house about a year and the kids would have been 11, 9, and 3. The husband was driving a truck east to west coast, so I was pretty much a single mom.

2001
Early in January, the husband fell at work (on the ice) and hit his head. Temporarily paralyzed and facing several months of rehab, he made a full recovery. This prompted him to come off the road and spend more time with his family. The boys were happy because he wanted to coach their ball teams. I wasn't, because we were strapped for money after his long recovery and he wasn't finding a job making near as much as he was. But it was nice to have some help around the house.

2002-2003
These couple of years are a blur. Savannah started kindergarten. Chris changed schools and began to succeed at the charter school. We continued to charge necessities while the husband "found" himself. Stressful is how I remember them, which means eating for me. I was gaining back the weight that I lost after the girl was born.

2004
This year brought a big change in that the husband found a career- heavy road construction. It would take this year and part of the next to learn, promote, and get to a salary that would let us breathe. We were able to buy a reliable car for me to take kids to school. Frustration would set in because some of this "learning" was coming in the back yard as he made "improvements" back there. Truthfully, they looked like piles of dirt, not improvements to me!

2005
I took a second job teaching music at church this year. I remember the freedom that the extra money brought. I hired a friend to clean my house twice a month, mostly because I was having a hard time keeping up with things. Husband might have not been out on the road, but he really didn't learn that meant that he was supposed to help! And, he wasn't a good influence on the boys on that front either. I began to see the chauvinism as he would say that doing the dishes was 'girls' work.

2006
This is the year everything changed. I made a new year's resolution to take back control. I found a great web site and lost almost 50 pounds. The house was cleaner, the kids grades' better, and the husband decided to bail with a druggie girlfriend who made him feel younger instead of, in his words, living with his mother. He left in October that year but we didn't tell anyone other than immediate family until after Christmas. This is also the year that I discovered the online community at Y360. I don't remember exactly when we landed at multiply, but if it wasn't for Kat, Anne, ZB and a few others in those early days, I wouldn't have the relationships here that I have today.

2007
This was a year of healing. I began to see that life was easier without him. He took without giving, so all of a sudden the work was easier. And, although he took his salary with him, I was able to pare down the bills where I had more money left over at the end of the month than I did with him here. I filed for divorce and didn't look back. Neither did he as he lost touch with the children, too. I took my first mission trip to Montana and got to see Glacier National Park. Turned around a month later and flew to Oklahoma to see the boy graduate from basic training. Giving back gives you things, and in November met and became friends with Scott.

2008
Healing continues and learning begins. Through this new friendship, I began learning more about myself- the girl I had lost in 13 years of marriage. The adventurous girl who loves taking weekend trips to explore, ride, hike, or just see. Savannah found her a replacement daddy even though both of us knew that this was just going to be a platonic relationship. This is the year that my music job turned into a "lead children's worship" job. That meant church every weekend with practice on Wednesdays. This is the year that Chris got married and Savannah started middle school.

2009
Somehow, this feels like the year of arrival. I feel healed. At least, I feel ready to go out and make friends and be social again. Which is only fitting, seeing that I got to spend a week in Cherokee, making a great friend there and also meeting an online friend in Tennessee. Susan, you know I wish we were geographically closer somehow, but I don't know if we could possibly be any closer friends. Brandon graduated from high school and left for college. My grandmother died from a long battle with Alzheimer's and that feels more like a ballast that has been released than something to grieve.

2010
I hope this is the year of moving ahead. I have spent the past two years healing, watching my kids grow and flourish, and I feel like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon after a long metamorphosis. I still need to stretch my wings and figure out how to fly, but I'm ready to test it out. I know God has a plan for my life and, with prayer and meditation, I'll be able to figure out what that is and take flight.

Thanks to all of you who came with me on part of this journey. You'll never know how much a kind work, a ribbing joke, or a silly distraction helped me get from one day to the next. You're all special to me and I hope 2010 is the best year yet for us all. HUGS!