I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,and if you truly like the company you keep,
in the empty moments. ~Oriah
thanks Sea!
The kids left for the beach this morning without me. They went with a friend's family- both got invited to go along. I knew Brandon was going all along. He is almost 18 and is pretty responsible. I didn't know Savannah was going to go until last week. I wasn't sure I wanted her to go- she is 11, she is a girl, and I wouldn't be there to make sure she was safe.
Scott told me Sunday to let her go. Of course every cell in my body was screaming "no" but he said, "you don't want her to get to be 18 and not want to leave your side." He was right and he was wrong, too. I want her to be independent and strong. But she isn't the one having a problem with this- it is me! She was ready and excited to go. I'm alone and feeling very "empty-nest" -ish right now. I'm not ready to let her go! But I did.
So I am going to have a quiet house until next Friday. They made it there safely and have already had fun in the sand. I'm glad for them- I am still not sure what kind of vacation we would have had this year and this way I don't have to feel like they didn't get one. I will still do some weekend things here and there, but this will be their big thing.
So when I'm on here way more than normal, you'll know why!
Now I understand why you liked what was on my page. Its ok mom .......it gets better in time. Heck my son and grandson are living with me but go home every weekend to the wife. They are working out stuff during their separation. I have maybe one or two more wks and then they will be home for good. School ends this week. Thats what they were waiting for. The house is quiet today since they left. Ive relished it but this time..........knowing the end is so near.......Im a bit sad myself. Ive had a chance to spend alot of time with my grandson. Something I havent had before. Now Ill be moving.
ReplyDeleteHe said to me the other day but I wont see you anymore gramma. I didnt realize he would miss me. Ive been sort of a mom here and figured he would be tired of me and rules lol. But I told him you can come visit me in the summers. I wont be that far away and we can talk on the phone. And when he gets big enough to be able to type here online, we can chat. I do that with my granddaughter now too. But I too am a bit meloncholy today...I will miss things moving away.
I don't blame you. My kids are out of the house now more than in and Art's off doing his own thing. I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI know it gets better in time- by the time she is Brandon's age I'll be more used to the little separations. They're hard when they hit all of a sudden like this. Thank goodness for cell phones and text messages!
ReplyDeleteWell we'll just have to support each other this week. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteOh does this hit home this weekend here Jan. (see I called you Jan instead of trying to misspell Jannene...lol) Anyway, a friend of Pat's e mailed her on Wed asking her to come down to Detroit to hang with her. The lady's husband was going up North to help with his Mom. Pat said she didn't know if she wanted to go because the weekend's are usually ours. But I said we will have plenty of more weekends, and your friend sounds like she needs you this weekend. So after work today, Pat went down to Detroit. (I can't count how many times she has called, text messaged, etc...lol) So now I have the weekend to myself. What to do? What to do? LOL
ReplyDeleteThat's my biggest problem- the kids are still at the age that they set my social life. No ball games or swim team for a week? And of course Scott is out of town this weekend visiting his sister. My worry? When I'm bored I eat. I do NOT want to eat the week away! That would be bad. So I have to find something to do so I won't eat everything in the house!
ReplyDeleteOMG We both do the same thing when we are bored silly? This is tooooo wierd...lol Tonight I went to my sister Kathy's house to pull a hepta filter out of her furnace and clean it. Tomorrow we have an open house for my other sister Jackie's grandson. So the weekend is filling out nicely. But the actual work week will be the real test. Thank God I have golf league on Tuesday...lol
ReplyDeleteChoc. ice cream, nacho chips and cheese dip... Pringles... more ice cream... Snickers... anything chocolate and anything crunchy, basically.
ReplyDeleteOne of my most creative moments in time was when I was alone. I don't know about you ... but, for me being alone is sometimes difficult. But, then, I start to realize that there is something healing in the moments when I am alone with my thoughts - and always - my God. It is in these moments that I'm most free to seek him out ... and sometimes to seek out myself.
ReplyDeleteI imagine the kids will always be there - and if it is predestined that they aren't - then, what power have I? They do have to grow - and so do we. I'm proned to growing pains.
Well, eating is better than drinking beer AND eating, which is what I do. On weekends.
ReplyDeleteI guess I started out letting my daughter go. She was taking a plane to NY by herself at 8 to visit her dad for the summer. And I used to miss her a lot. But I also had the boys to maintain, so it never ended really. Rachel went on vacations and school trips all the time. She was always busy. I made sure she had all the advantages of being able to cope outside of the house. I was a super sheltered child who was never allowed to do anything. And it was not the best experience in the world.To this day I am still duped by people, and shocked when people are underhanded and betraying. If I had learned this on my own and a lot younger, I think my life would have turned out a whole lot better.
So, even tho you miss her, I think sending her off on her own is a good choice. She may not always stay within your protective shield, but she is learning some important skills too. And she has her big brother with her!! Nobody will cross a big brother. My sister has 2 girls who she has smothered to the point they are quaking, quivering messes if they can't see her. We used to say they acted like baby monkeys, literally hanging off of her. She couldn't see it of course. Her "precious girls"...they're 10 and 13 and she still feeds them like baby birds....LOL. I want to smack her upside the head and say LET THEM LIVE. So, my dear friend, you are way smarter than you feel inside!! Bravo!!
And you can always look at me...my kids never leave home. My 27 year old is still upstairs asleep, and I have shoved them out since they were old enough to go!!! hahaha
Kat and Kat (that's strange, isn't it?) - that is exactly what I needed to hear! I know that their leaving home is not in my control, so I need to equip them to take care of themselves. I don't have to like it, but I have to do it for them. Yes, she has her big brother, until tomorrow at least. He will spend the weekdays fishing while she wants to swim. So the boys and girls are splitting up on Monday.
ReplyDeleteShe is so wise though- she sent me a text message yesterday that said "mommy don't be sad- just look at the moon. It is the same moon I'm looking at right now." Made me want to cry- it was a little hangnail moon, and that was so mature of her to think that I would be sad without her!
Thats awesome...you've done a good job raising her. Be proud, your little girl is growing up.
ReplyDeletehmmm...that's the sort of thing I think a lot too. Your Savannah may be related to me after all! *grins*
ReplyDeleteGlad you let her go! She will have a blast!
ReplyDeleteCatherine went to her dad'a yesterday for the month.....I wanted her to go but then when it came time, I didn't want her to go. Hang in there and I will pray that the week will go by quickly for you!
A month? I'll pray that goes by even faster for you!
ReplyDeleteyeah till the end of june then she will go back for another 3 1/2 weeks mid july....*sigh*
ReplyDeleteI'd be nuts! Of course, Savannah's dad only sees her about once every other month or so. Which is quite ok with me since he's leading a lifestyle I don't want her to see any part of! I'd be crazy if I thought she was exposed to it!
ReplyDeleteyeah I can understand that.
ReplyDeleteSomeone asked me last night- when they found out that both kids went to the beach- if their dad took them. All it took was one sideways look for them to say "Oh yeah, right, I should have remembered!" I think they thought he would reform or something.
ReplyDeleteJANEEN....I am on yahoo IM, and you are never there..........grrrrrr
ReplyDelete