Well, I have my first court date tomorrow. For some reason, I feel like I'm standing on a beach watching a tidal wave loom in front of me. I know this marriage has been over for some time - it isn't that at all- it is hearing everyone else's stories about how horrible the legal system is to navigate a divorce through. I would expect it to be right, and fair, and just, but from talking to others it can be a quagmire, allowing things to drag out well past their alotted life.
So, I'm a little worried about tomorrow. It is just a child support hearing (alimony, settlements, and actual divorce to be heard later) but I understand that the "other party" is not going to show up. My lawyer tells me that can be good or that can be bad. If we get a good judge then I'll just get what I ask for. If I don't, they could continue it and give him a second chance to show.
He has already drawn this out over a year- and hasn't paid child support yet. As I'm pretty much through my savings, I can't afford to have him draw this out much longer. So say a little prayer at 930am (eastern) tomorrow- that I get what I need for Savannah. This doesn't even count the boys- since they are not mine, there is no "formula" for stepsons who stay with the stepmom!
A lawyer friend told me that her favorite quote was something like "This is a court of law, not a court of justice." Good luck. I'll be prayin' tonight for you. No telling what mess I'll be in tomorrow at 9:30 at work.
ReplyDeleteThis would be a scary time if I was in your shoes. I think of a few verses from the book of Isaiah in the Bible that I find comfort in. I set a reminder to pray for you at 9:30 eastern time.
ReplyDeleteIsaiah 35:4 - "Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you."
Isaiah 41:10 - "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:13 - "For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, "Fear not, I will help you."
Isaiah 41:14 - "Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you," says the LORD And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
Isaiah 43:1 - "But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.'"
Isaiah 43:5 - "Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, And gather you from the west;"
Isaiah 44:8 - "Do not fear, nor be afraid; Have I not told you from that time, and declared it? You are My witnesses. Is there a God besides Me? Indeed there is no other Rock; I know not one."'
Isaiah 51:7 - "Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, You people in whose heart is My law: Do not fear the reproach of men, Nor be afraid of their insults."
Isaiah 54:4 - "Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore."
And one of my favorite verses that I often pray from the Psalms - Psalm 56:3 - "What time I am afraid I will trust in thee."
Isaiah 54:14 - "In righteousness you shall be established; You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; And from terror, for it shall not come near you. "
I'll be praying and hope that not only the law is served but justice as well and that it's on your side!
ReplyDeleteYou will certainly be at the top of the list tonight and tomorrow as well. I know all too well how this works and will be here for you whatever you need and whenever you need it. I made it through with the support of all those praying for me and can see now just how He laid things out and brought people in and out of my life to make things work. I have no doubt that He will and has been doing the same for you. He doesn't guarantee a smooth path, but He does guarantee to be with us on the journey!
ReplyDeletePeace, Love and Hugs Momma!!
helloo i just read ur blog and i know what u must be feeling in some ways as i too went through this 8 yrs ago .. i pray for u strength and wisdom and most of all courage to get u through all this and HOPE best wishes and sleep well hugs may the light of peace be with u in ur day ..
ReplyDeleteNot much I can add, Momma, but I'll be praying for you too.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Momma. I, too, am here to lend an ear should you need one.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. I hope you have a good lawyer. That no-show thing can work for a long time, and it's a tactic crappy STBX's use when they know they can get away with it. ZB is totally right, it's a court of law, not a court of justice which is sad for single mothers.
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best. xox
You guys are fabulous! No wonder I like being here so much.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have a good lawyer, and the no-show thing worked in my favor. I got more than he and I had initially agreed on, plus arrears back to July '07 AND lawyer fees. Now it is just a matter of collecting, which I am sure will be the next hurdle. And, of course, the blow-up when he finds out what he owes. But I am happy and relieved- it went much better than I ever thought it would!
Congrats Momma! I'm so glad to hear you won.
ReplyDeleteI am soooooo happy for you Momma....big hugggssssss. At least you have that behind you now. One day at a time....that's how you get through this....and TODAY is the only day you will ever have to make it through.
ReplyDeleteI was soo happy to get your update at work!
ReplyDeleteWe can talk more about it later!! Just wanted to stop in and say congrats and take one step at a time and don't borow trouble that isn't there yet!! :)
well, that is outstanding!! If he works, they may opt to take it right out of his check. And the courts are very "nice" about arrears and will split it up over the next 100yrs at $10/wk....if something bad has happened, it has happened to me. LOL.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. xo
Oh yeah- he is $7700 behind and he gets to pay it back at $50 a month. BUT I got support for the boys too, and we weren't expecting that- there's no stepson statute, so the lawyer was thinking we'd have to do that as alimony. I really like this judge!
ReplyDeletethat is great about the boys!!
ReplyDeletedamn. I like him too. I wish he had been my lawyer back when.
ReplyDeleteWell the lawyer did comment after it was over that this was the judge to have in this case. No nonsense, straight to the point, and uses common sense. I'm sure most judges are not like that!
ReplyDelete