My sons learned this afternoon that someone they know- a close friend from middle school days- died of a drug overdose either this morning or sometime last night. This boy, as a 13-15 year old, was a handful. He was fearless. He raced motorcycles to the detriment of his body. He was the first to dip tobacco, try a beer, and finally made his way into illicit drugs. His Godly parents tried everything in their power to lead him the right way, finally resorting to military school. Even that didn't help.
I spoke with his dad last week, asking how things were. "Not good," he said. They were worried but basically helpless. The boy had become a man- was 18 years old and still as fearless as ever.
I did a little research and found the following statistics- some of which shock me and some of which don't:
- Accidental Drug Overdose Deaths Nearly Doubled. A 2007 report found drug overdose deaths are now the 2nd leading cause of death in America.
- 19.7 million Americans used drugs in the past month. The highest age percentage for illicit drug use is 18 to 21. The most abused illicit drug is marijuana with 14.6 million drug users. On a regular basis,.2.4 million Americans use cocaine.
- 13 million Americans have an alcohol drinking problem. Their alcohol use has resulted in a criminal arrest, termination from their job, or family disruption such as divorce. It is important to realize that alcohol is a drug. In 2005, 2.5 million Americans received treatment for alcohol addiction.
- Over 60 million prescriptions were written by American doctors for Valium and other similar acting tranquilizers. Many people do not consider the legal drugs, alcohol, and mood altering prescription drugs to be a safety risk. When used as directed, most of these drugs are safe. However, when tranquilizers such as Valium, Soma, or Xanax are mixed with even small amounts of alcohol, the synergistic effect quickly becomes dangerous. In 2005, 1.8 million Americans abused tranquilizers.
- 33% of automobile drivers involved in crashes are under the influence of drugs or alcohol or both at the time of the crash. In 2005, 10.5 million Americans reported driving under the influence of drugs! A 1989 study of Chicago personal injury crashes found that 54 percent of the drivers tested positive for either illicit drugs or alcohol.
RIP, Luke.
in my work ... I have stood by countless crashes, and witnessed countless deaths cause by drinking and driving ... when will we ever learn?
ReplyDeleteHeh. The minute I saw your post I thought of myself. I'll have to do a blog all by itself later, otherwise, I'd end up hijacking your comments section.
ReplyDeleteDrugs, illegal drugs suck. What I don't understand is that pot is illegal but alcohol isn't. Either way, if you drive while intoxicated, you're still taking the chance of killing someone or at the very least yourself. No, I take that back. I understand why alcohol isn't legal. That was tried and the feds. had to legalize it again. Making alcohol illegal basically brought the mob into the trafficking of bootleg alcohol (and anyone else interested in it). There is no absolute answer to the drug problem. People will do drugs, and no one can stop them.
I'm very sorry to hear that Luke is dead. Please let your boys know that they have my heartfelt sympathy and I'll keep them and the family of Luke in my prayers.
Thanks Abby! It is hard for me to realize this is a kid I chauffeured around for years, and now he is gone. Thanks for the prayers for the family- I am sure they can use them and will be grateful for them all!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this, Momma. I will pray also.
ReplyDeleteMomma, you're welcome. If you only knew how close to home that this hits... I'll keep all of you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSorry Abby- it has been a learning experience for my kids. This is the first real friend they have lost. Somehow, I hope they lose a little of their invincibility with it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they will.
ReplyDeleteIt is a tragedy that we can't even begin to try to understand. I have added them to our prayer chain. I worked with youth for 9+ years before moving to Ohio, it is amazing what kids as young as 12 and 13 have done and are doing and don't even think about it. Some is because they are rebelling against overbearing, overprotective, controlling parents, others because they are trying to get the attention of parents who show no concern and there are many other reasons but it is troubling for those of us who try and help.
Don't apologize, please!
ReplyDeleteI just hope that your kids are able to work through the loss.
Honestly I am surprised the 33% fact is not higher!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I know anyone that isn't touched by drug or alcohol abuse these days. I sat through a trial of a man who killed my friend's entire family. Something I wish people would have to do before ever getting their license to drive is sit through something like that and hear the horror stories and see the pictures that you will never be able to get out of your mind...
I guess what I don't understand is that these were perfect parents (you know what I mean- they're interested in their kids' lives, they provided well for them, they brought them up the right way, and seemed to do things the best way they knew how.) If their kid can end up like this, anyone's can.
ReplyDeleteexactly. Nobody is perfect, nobody is immune from tragedy. Things look good on the outside but you never really know what is going on behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteI don't think 'upbringing' has as much to do with things as the specific personality of the individual. I have seen it in too many families where the kids were "raised the same" but one turned out totally different from the others. And this would be both in "good" homes and not so good. I almost wonder if it is a gene aberration that, if not causes it, *allows* a kid to head towards self-destruction? My own personal belief is it is part of their own karmic path. However, even within that outline, the person has the choice as to how they handle themselves. Failing may be part of the plan. No matter, it is terribly sad for everyone touched by it. My ex was one of those people. I blamed a lot of it on Viet Nam and mental problems, and yet his brother is straight as an arrow, didn't drink, didn't smoke, never touched drugs. I was the "lucky" one who ended up with Nimrod...but if I hadn't, I guess I would have even less tolerance for some things. But what a hard way to learn.
ReplyDeleteI have a cousin. He's 66. He's a medical doctor. He is currently serving six concurrent one year terms in the Berks County, Pennsylvania, Prison for six DUIs he had in the last 14 months. Two of the incidents where he was arrested involved accidents. In one accident, someone was hurt, although I'm not sure how badly. It's amazing to everyone in the family that he hasn't killed himself yet. He lives alone when he's not in jail. He drinks alone.
ReplyDeleteDrugs and alcohol are scary. Alcoholism runs in my family. I've talked a lot to my son and his cousins about it. I've talked to their friends, too. When the opportunity arises, I snatch it. Addictive behavior, and self-abusive behavior, frightens me.
My life is upside down over my daughter's addiction. Her life is hanging in the balance of this instability.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. I have one that is a criminal justice major and the other is in fact now considered a criminal. It is not how they are brought up, it's who they take up with.
ReplyDeleteThat's the scary part- knowing that I don't have much control on how they turn out. Sure, I have tried to be the best mom I can be but that gives me no guarantees. So far so good with my own three, but they're not perfect. Luckily, the storms we've had to weather are mild compared to this.
ReplyDeleteThat is so true, Susan. Many, many times it is an influence from outside the family structure that causes irrepairable damage.
ReplyDeleteThere are filthy, disgusting people out there who will try to manipulate young people for their own gain or purposes, and even just for the pleasure of hurting people.
It may not even be someone distant, but yet someone who you otherwise trusted up to that point. One can NEVER be too careful.
There are plenty of wolves in sheeps clothing out there. I've had such experiences from time to time in my life. sometimes you can catch it in time, sometimes you can't. And sometimes there is nothing that can be done.
I'm just glad that even though my daughter's mother and I are divorced, that we are still working together for the common good of my daughter. The wrong ex can sometimes do as much damage as the monsters out there trying to manipulate our impressionable youth.
You're both right- and that last part is scary too, Bill, considering the ex is turning into someone completely untrustworthy. I hope that does not lead too many bad places, but it has the potential to. I am so sad over all of this, but more than that, I feel fear. Fear that no matter what I do, right or wrong, I can't protect my children from something like this.
ReplyDeleteAMEN to that....which is why I moved out of state!
ReplyDeleteI just hope my daughter learns to stand up to her father instead of going with the flow out of fear of upsetting him even when he is completely WRONG!
So it isn't always the others outside the family structure...it can be the family itself and what is worse they can't even see they are doing anything wrong because they are so self absorbed in their own crisis and letting that spill over into other things.
No matter who it is or what it is you are right Momma it is just plain scary. Prayers only get you so far but sometimes that is all you have!
I'd prefer you didn't address me or my comments. It's unfortunate that we have some of the same friends, but the least you could do is show some common sense and decency and not take shots at me using my own words. after all you've done and said, the last thing I want to do is "make nice" or pretend that nothing happened. Your delusions aside, you know the real story and no matter how you try to spin it, you have serious problems. No matterhow many blogs you follow me to, or how many thinly veiled comments you post about me, We are not friends, and never will be. Accept it.
ReplyDeleteI only wish that when you block someone, that their comments are invisible to you as well.
Multiply! Make it happen!
*Sorry Mommadish. I mean no disrespect to you*