No. That's not bad. I'd be excited too. My ex didn't ever start paying it until they did that. Nothing like a jail cell to give a guy a little perspective I guess. :-)
I know it is. I whooped and hollered so loud when I found out, then felt bad that I was so giddy. But I felt like a quarterback who just scored a touchdown!
He has a job- he's had many jobs. He keeps signing agreements to have the money withheld from his pay- then changes jobs. I guess he thought he'd get by with it forever.
I'd feel bad if he wasn't working- I don't know that I'd be so upset then. The fact that he could pay and isn't makes me mad.
Don't feel sad or bad Dish. Hey, I had to pay child support so what made him think he didn't have to? I get sooooo pissed off when I hear stories about deadbeat dads! I wish that they would publish their names in the paper just to call them out.
Your right, he is thinking that he is pulling one over your eyes and in reality he is cheating his own children. The problem I have is this - How come the courts let this guy get soooooo far behind? Don't they have a friend of the court system down there?
They seem to be all about wage withholding here. If you'll agree to that it will keep you out of jail. So I guess it had to get to the point that they realized he figured out a way around the wage withholding.
See here in Michigan, the friend of the court will issue a wage withholding writ and your employer has to, by law, withhold the amount they put on the writ. So when I was paying child support, I never saw it...it came out automatically. It got to the point I didn't even miss it. All I did was re budget and lived within my means. When my youngest graduated from HS, the friend of the court stopped the wage withholding automatically. I didn't have any problems.
NC used to be pretty lax and lenient. I wonder if they still are. AND...something stupid I learned trying to collect for the boys---he can take jail time in lieu of support. Some guys did this. Spend a year in jail and it's all done. I hope they changed it.
And why should you feel bad??? A shit box is a shit box.
They did change that part Kat- jail time isn't equivalent to money anymore. They also did away with the obligation during jail time stuff- used to be that while they were in jail, the child support didn't add up- figuring that they don't have a job and don't have money. Now it doesn't matter.
Bill, that is how it is supposed to work here. However, it takes the state about a month to get it set up with a new employer. In that time, he quits one job and begins another. By the time it takes a month to find out where he's working (by payroll tax records) and another month to get wage withholding set up again, he quits that job and starts another. The latest ploy is to become self-employed. Guess that is where they drew the line. Obviously, he isn't going to withhold for himself!
GOOD. I couldn't believe my ears when they told me that. They said the guy wouldn't want to miss work, so he'd pay rather than go to jail. But it didn't work that way. Then there are the ones who don't work on purpose, or off the books like Carlin's father. Talk about a dead beat. He makes $36,000 under the table. Hasn't filed taxes in years. And do you think there is anything we can do? Nope. Reporting doesn't matter it seems.
I don't think a guy should be paying more than he can afford. I could have been fair about it and WAS fair considering my ex made $70,000/yr and skipped out on support for 3 yrs with nobody helping me. Then when they finally attached his wages, the back support was ordered to be repaid at $10/month added to the regular amount. No lump sum. No considering how hard it was with the kids and NO support for so long? AMAZING.
Yeah, one time in this, they ordered him to pay $50 per month to the arrears. I was mad- at that point I figured Savannah would be 32 years old before he got it all paid back!
Oh Im sure that it has girl. Jail time will hurt his employment, even if he is self employed. Im just hoping and praying that you see some of that money soon because school starts in a couple weeks. Plus with your son in college, and only 30 minutes away, your gonna need more laundry soap.
Yep. And he knows that we don't have too much money but I don't want him to have to work, at least his freshman year. Get some good grades under his belt first. He's just going to be broke.
Hey, I was excited when CPS called me to tell me Marc was turned in for neglect! I know it sounds bad, but it felt so good to hear he had messed up in some way!
Being over 20 grande behind in support IS not cool! He needs to get a grip and take care of his kids!
I have never understood men and women that do this. Don't their childrens well being mean anything to them at all? Back when I believed I was a Father I put my sons well being before my own, even quitting the job I loved... to work for a job I hated... simply because it had family medical benefits. My kid came first. Later found out he wasn't mine and that was a load of drama for another story, but even then he came before me when I took all my savings and created a trust fund for him for when he turns 18. I just can't understand people who don't take care of their kids. It makes no sense to me at all.
Why is that bad for you to want to see him arrested for not taking care of the kids?
ReplyDeleteCongrats Dish. I think this is GOOD news.
Well if hes not paying anyway then I guess thats a good thing. But why isnt he paying? Not working or what?
ReplyDeleteNo. That's not bad. I'd be excited too. My ex didn't ever start paying it until they did that. Nothing like a jail cell to give a guy a little perspective I guess. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou said it!
ReplyDeleteI said good riddance to dead weight.
I know it is. I whooped and hollered so loud when I found out, then felt bad that I was so giddy. But I felt like a quarterback who just scored a touchdown!
ReplyDeleteHe has a job- he's had many jobs. He keeps signing agreements to have the money withheld from his pay- then changes jobs. I guess he thought he'd get by with it forever.
ReplyDeleteI'd feel bad if he wasn't working- I don't know that I'd be so upset then. The fact that he could pay and isn't makes me mad.
I hate it came to this. The kids are wise- but I'm sure he'll still make me out to be the bad guy in all this. They won't believe him, though.
ReplyDeleteWell, if it takes jail time to larn him a lesson, then jail time it shall be.
ReplyDeleteI say you done good.
Don't feel sad or bad Dish. Hey, I had to pay child support so what made him think he didn't have to? I get sooooo pissed off when I hear stories about deadbeat dads! I wish that they would publish their names in the paper just to call them out.
ReplyDeleteThey know better. You're the one who is always there for them. That says A LOT.
ReplyDeleteSome states do and others also have a website for them, too.
ReplyDeleteThey used to have the "deadbeat dad" channel here- scrolling names of people who were behind on their child support.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bill. I try not to feel bad- it isn't really my money- it is the kids'. He's cheating them, but thinking that he's cheating me.
ReplyDeleteYour right, he is thinking that he is pulling one over your eyes and in reality he is cheating his own children. The problem I have is this - How come the courts let this guy get soooooo far behind? Don't they have a friend of the court system down there?
ReplyDeleteThey seem to be all about wage withholding here. If you'll agree to that it will keep you out of jail. So I guess it had to get to the point that they realized he figured out a way around the wage withholding.
ReplyDeleteSee here in Michigan, the friend of the court will issue a wage withholding writ and your employer has to, by law, withhold the amount they put on the writ. So when I was paying child support, I never saw it...it came out automatically. It got to the point I didn't even miss it. All I did was re budget and lived within my means. When my youngest graduated from HS, the friend of the court stopped the wage withholding automatically. I didn't have any problems.
ReplyDeleteNC used to be pretty lax and lenient. I wonder if they still are. AND...something stupid I learned trying to collect for the boys---he can take jail time in lieu of support. Some guys did this. Spend a year in jail and it's all done. I hope they changed it.
ReplyDeleteAnd why should you feel bad??? A shit box is a shit box.
They did change that part Kat- jail time isn't equivalent to money anymore. They also did away with the obligation during jail time stuff- used to be that while they were in jail, the child support didn't add up- figuring that they don't have a job and don't have money. Now it doesn't matter.
ReplyDeleteBill, that is how it is supposed to work here. However, it takes the state about a month to get it set up with a new employer. In that time, he quits one job and begins another. By the time it takes a month to find out where he's working (by payroll tax records) and another month to get wage withholding set up again, he quits that job and starts another. The latest ploy is to become self-employed. Guess that is where they drew the line. Obviously, he isn't going to withhold for himself!
GOOD. I couldn't believe my ears when they told me that. They said the guy wouldn't want to miss work, so he'd pay rather than go to jail. But it didn't work that way. Then there are the ones who don't work on purpose, or off the books like Carlin's father. Talk about a dead beat. He makes $36,000 under the table. Hasn't filed taxes in years. And do you think there is anything we can do? Nope. Reporting doesn't matter it seems.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a guy should be paying more than he can afford. I could have been fair about it and WAS fair considering my ex made $70,000/yr and skipped out on support for 3 yrs with nobody helping me. Then when they finally attached his wages, the back support was ordered to be repaid at $10/month added to the regular amount. No lump sum. No considering how hard it was with the kids and NO support for so long? AMAZING.
Glad it's going the right way for you.
Yeah, one time in this, they ordered him to pay $50 per month to the arrears. I was mad- at that point I figured Savannah would be 32 years old before he got it all paid back!
ReplyDeleteOh thats why. So he was job hopping around.
ReplyDeleteYes- it is a system that has worked well for him for about a year. I hope it has caught up with him now.
ReplyDeleteOh Im sure that it has girl. Jail time will hurt his employment, even if he is self employed. Im just hoping and praying that you see some of that money soon because school starts in a couple weeks. Plus with your son in college, and only 30 minutes away, your gonna need more laundry soap.
ReplyDeleteYep. And he knows that we don't have too much money but I don't want him to have to work, at least his freshman year. Get some good grades under his belt first. He's just going to be broke.
ReplyDeleteThats where his father should have stepped in and helped out. OMG what a dirt bag you were married to.
ReplyDeleteHey, I was excited when CPS called me to tell me Marc was turned in for neglect! I know it sounds bad, but it felt so good to hear he had messed up in some way!
ReplyDeleteBeing over 20 grande behind in support IS not cool! He needs to get a grip and take care of his kids!
Wow thats SAD bc what a "message" that sends the kids! Speaks Volumes!!!
ReplyDeleteI had mine deducted straight from the ex's paycheck. I already knew what would happen if I didn't.
ReplyDeleteThat's wonderful news for your kids! He's REALLY behind.. jeeeeeeeesh.
ReplyDeleteI have never understood men and women that do this. Don't their childrens well being mean anything to them at all? Back when I believed I was a Father I put my sons well being before my own, even quitting the job I loved... to work for a job I hated... simply because it had family medical benefits. My kid came first. Later found out he wasn't mine and that was a load of drama for another story, but even then he came before me when I took all my savings and created a trust fund for him for when he turns 18. I just can't understand people who don't take care of their kids. It makes no sense to me at all.
ReplyDelete~D
I don't get it either, D. These kids mean everything to me.
ReplyDelete