Happy Father's Day to Great Daddys

My step-dad, Frank, with my mother.

My dad died when I was 17. It rocked my world- seemed to take a bit of the foundation out from under the house. I graduated from high school and college without him- got married without him- had children without him. But he shaped who I am today. He raised me to be right, and honest, and kind, but still be able to have fun.

I used this verse in my Bible  study this morning, but didn't associate it with Father's Day until Kat pointed out that it reminded her of her father.

1 Timothy 3:2-7
Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

My mother lived alone for 15 years before she married my step-father. He is such a hero- he treats her like a princess. And she takes great care of him, too. They've been married 10 years now, and it feels like so much longer. Frank is just as much a part of the family as my daddy would have been were he still here. He hasn't tried to take over our lives, but been a silent witness to the love and care that should come with any good marriage.

My children are now growing up without their father. That is his choice, of course, and I have tried to instill in them the fact that it has nothing to do with them. I've explained about narcissistic people. I've tried to preserve their self-esteem in the wake of his denial. Savannah wanted to, so we took Scott out today for lunch because, for all practical purposes, he is more of a father to them than their own father is. He is the voice that tells them right from wrong. He is the one that shows them, through his own actions, what it means to help their mother. He tries to lead by example, but still be the one who knows how to have fun.

So I'm lucky to have these men in my life. Good examples of the kind of people I hope my children grow up to be. Good examples of the kind of man I will hold out for the next time, too.