In my Christmas blog, I mentioned that Chris (who will be 19 years old in 3 weeks) proposed to his girlfriend and she accepted. I'm a little unsteady with this, because they both have 6 months of high school left, she has college plans, and he belongs to the Army after graduation. Actually, he will go to AIT training for 4 months (June-October), come home for 2-3 months, then leave for Iraq in January 2009. So I know he is feeling insecure and figures that if he marries her, he'll be set and she won't leave him (which we all know is no guarantee of fidelity.)
He is also looking to replace the love he doesn't feel coming from his father. Somehow, he needs to know that he is worthy of being loved. However, he told me yesterday that he and his fiance are going to live together, starting now. Herein lies the problem. He lives in my basement apartment. If I let this happen, I will be condoning it (which morally I have a hard time doing.) If I do not allow it, they will move in at his father's house, which means that "party central" will be their digs. Who knows how out of control things will get over there. I know his father lets him drink when he is there, and I have good reason to believe that there are drugs there as well. Also, if I don't let him stay here, he will see this as one more rejection in a line of rejections in his life. (Might I say, his dad would allow him to move in over there, simply because he wouldn't have to pay me more child support for Chris, or so he thinks. He is totally motivated by money at this point.)
I guess I should also say that I like this girl- she is the kind of person I hoped he would end up with (and infinitely better than several of his previous girls) but I know they are moving way too fast. He does feel like his life is over after 6 months. (Honestly, sometimes I think he believes he won't come back from Iraq- which is a possibility, but not a guarantee!)
So please give me your honest opinion about what I should do. I feel like I don't have a good choice either way I go.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
36 Things
I wanna know 36 things about you. I stole this from Karen, and it was pretty fun to fill out. I just posted this for my friends, so take a minute to answer!
1.)Q. Can you cook?
A.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
A.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A.
4.)Q. If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
A.
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
A.
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
A.
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
A
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
A.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
A.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
A.
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
A
12.)Q. Pessimistic or Optimistic outlook?
A.
13. )Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you.
A
16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
A.
17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house, unexpectedly?
A.
18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?
A.
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute... or scary?
A.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner... or my conscience?
A
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
A.
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
A.
24.)Q. Bottle or can soda?
A.
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
A.
26.)Q. If you could write a book, what would it be?
A.
Q. What 's your favorite place to hang at?
A.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
A.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
A.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.
33.)Q. Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.
34.)Q. If you could spend 12 hours with me, and ask/do anything you like, what would it be?
A.
35)Q. Do you believe in God?
A.
36.)Q. Will you repost this, so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.
1.)Q. Can you cook?
A.
2.)Q. What was your dream growing up?
A.
3.)Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A.
4.)Q. If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
A.
5.)Q. Favorite vegetable?
A.
6.)Q. What was the last book you read?
A.
7.)Q. What zodiac sign are you ?
A
8.)Q. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
A.
9.)Q. Worst Habit?
A.
10.)Q. If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
A.
11.)Q. What is your favorite sport?
A
12.)Q. Pessimistic or Optimistic outlook?
A.
13. )Q. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.
14.)Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.
15.)Q. Tell me one weird fact about you.
A
16.)Q. Do you have any pets?
A.
17.)Q. What if i showed up at your house, unexpectedly?
A.
18.)Q. What was your first impression of me?
A.
19.)Q. Do you think clowns are cute... or scary?
A.
20.)Q. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.
21.)Q. Would you be my crime partner... or my conscience?
A
22.)Q. What color eyes do you have?
A.
23.)Q. Ever been arrested?
A.
24.)Q. Bottle or can soda?
A.
25.)Q. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
A.
26.)Q. If you could write a book, what would it be?
A.
Q. What 's your favorite place to hang at?
A.
28.)Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A.
29.)Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.
30.)Q. Do you swear a lot?
A.
31.)Q. Biggest pet peeve?
A.
32.)Q. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.
33.)Q. Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.
34.)Q. If you could spend 12 hours with me, and ask/do anything you like, what would it be?
A.
35)Q. Do you believe in God?
A.
36.)Q. Will you repost this, so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas Wishes
I got everything I wished for this Christmas. Ok, not everything I wanted, but then I'd probably be spoiled a lot! The boys, Savannah, and I went to the midnight service last night (along with the fire department, since Chris was actually working.) It was a beautiful peaceful night to spend with my family, reflecting on the gift of the manger and the real meaning of Christmas. Just to sit in the pew with the boys is a great wish- they always seem to go different directions, and going to church as a whole family doesn't usually happen.
My second wish is a selfish one- I really didn't want James to spoil Christmas like he did Thanksgiving. Actually, he never even called the kids at all. They should have heard from their dad on Christmas, but I'm glad we were able to do all our usual traditionals. I still struggle with their needs/my wishes in this area- I would just prefer he fell off the face of the earth (which he seems to have done) but they need their dad. Or at least, they need the dad he used to be. This drunken, unemployed version, they can do without.
My biggest wish is that we got through this Christmas happy- even though this is the first Christmas without him here (and yes, we were split last year, but still included him in our celebrations) that his absence didn't cause too much sadness at this happy time of the year. Other than a few minor spells (like when Chris realized there were 4 stockings on the mantle instead of 5) everyone adapted pretty well to things. Most likely because the traditions stayed the same.
We had Christmas dinner at my mother's tonight with my brother and sister and their families, and my uncle and his wife. We do this every year, but this year my sister and BIL brought their guitars and we just sat around and sang Christmas carols and silly songs and laughed and had fun. I love my family and they are a ton of fun to joke and kid with.
Chris is off tonight proposing to his girlfriend. That is fodder for another blog, but as long as they stick to their plans and wait until he gets back from Iraq to get married, I'm good with it. I do like her a lot and hope they give themselves a chance to get their educations before they go it on their own.
I think I'll try to hit some sales tomorrow- see if I can stock up on things for next year! And the house is a shambles- I need to load up Brandon's truck and go to the dump a couple of times to get totally rid of some things! Hope you all had as great a Christmas as I did!
My second wish is a selfish one- I really didn't want James to spoil Christmas like he did Thanksgiving. Actually, he never even called the kids at all. They should have heard from their dad on Christmas, but I'm glad we were able to do all our usual traditionals. I still struggle with their needs/my wishes in this area- I would just prefer he fell off the face of the earth (which he seems to have done) but they need their dad. Or at least, they need the dad he used to be. This drunken, unemployed version, they can do without.
My biggest wish is that we got through this Christmas happy- even though this is the first Christmas without him here (and yes, we were split last year, but still included him in our celebrations) that his absence didn't cause too much sadness at this happy time of the year. Other than a few minor spells (like when Chris realized there were 4 stockings on the mantle instead of 5) everyone adapted pretty well to things. Most likely because the traditions stayed the same.
We had Christmas dinner at my mother's tonight with my brother and sister and their families, and my uncle and his wife. We do this every year, but this year my sister and BIL brought their guitars and we just sat around and sang Christmas carols and silly songs and laughed and had fun. I love my family and they are a ton of fun to joke and kid with.
Chris is off tonight proposing to his girlfriend. That is fodder for another blog, but as long as they stick to their plans and wait until he gets back from Iraq to get married, I'm good with it. I do like her a lot and hope they give themselves a chance to get their educations before they go it on their own.
I think I'll try to hit some sales tomorrow- see if I can stock up on things for next year! And the house is a shambles- I need to load up Brandon's truck and go to the dump a couple of times to get totally rid of some things! Hope you all had as great a Christmas as I did!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Christmas Ball
| Start: | Dec 28, '07 9:00p |
| Location: | zebaron.multiply.com and gilesy01.multiply.com |
Saturday, December 15, 2007
I learn something every day
You'd think, at the age of 41, that I would know myself pretty well by now. I guess I only thought I did, because I seem to learn something new every day. This latest lesson took me by surprise. I was invited to a friend's house for a dinner party on Thursday night. She does this every Christmas and it is a lot of fun- usually 25-30 people. Scott offered to take a table and chairs from the church so she would have enough seating available. I looked at him funny, because I wasn't sure how he was going to get a 6 foot table into a Nissan Maxima. His comment was, well can I put it in your 4-Runner? So that's what we did- laid my back seats down and loaded my car.
There was plenty of unloading/reloading help at the party, and as we were leaving, he asked me when I'd be around Friday so he could help me unload back at the church. I said that I didn't really have plans, and I'd actually thought about running by on my way home and leaving them that night. He convinced me to wait until Friday and he'd help.
Now, I'm not the helpless female. I can sure pull my own weight, and he knows that. So, although I was miffed for about 10 seconds that he didn't think I could carry one little table and 8 chairs, I soon realized that he was just concerned that I not do it by myself, especially in a dark church parking lot late at night. This is so new to me- if he could be concerned about me (and remember, we're nothing more than friends) then what should a husband have been doing all these years? I'm so used to doing things on my own that I'm just now realizing that is how it has always been- I've never had someone who was concerned about me, about whether I was safe, or working too hard, or pulling more than my share. I'm having to re-think how I think- as a friend who was standing there that night said- learn to let him help!
I'm still not helpless, but I'm beginning to understand how letting someone else help helps them in turn. They feel good about helping a friend, just like I would not hesitate to help if the situation was reversed.
There was plenty of unloading/reloading help at the party, and as we were leaving, he asked me when I'd be around Friday so he could help me unload back at the church. I said that I didn't really have plans, and I'd actually thought about running by on my way home and leaving them that night. He convinced me to wait until Friday and he'd help.
Now, I'm not the helpless female. I can sure pull my own weight, and he knows that. So, although I was miffed for about 10 seconds that he didn't think I could carry one little table and 8 chairs, I soon realized that he was just concerned that I not do it by myself, especially in a dark church parking lot late at night. This is so new to me- if he could be concerned about me (and remember, we're nothing more than friends) then what should a husband have been doing all these years? I'm so used to doing things on my own that I'm just now realizing that is how it has always been- I've never had someone who was concerned about me, about whether I was safe, or working too hard, or pulling more than my share. I'm having to re-think how I think- as a friend who was standing there that night said- learn to let him help!
I'm still not helpless, but I'm beginning to understand how letting someone else help helps them in turn. They feel good about helping a friend, just like I would not hesitate to help if the situation was reversed.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Straight No Chaser - 12 Days
You've never heard the "Twelve Days of Christmas" quite like this! Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Catching up
Wow- I haven't blogged in awhile! There either doesn't seem to be anything to say or there isn't time to say it! My community chorus concert was a big hit- we had over 800 people come out to hear us, and they all left smiling. That's what I call a success. I couldn't be more proud!
The boys are playing high school basketball and the games started last week. Chris is a senior and Brandon a junior, and for the first time they are both starting. It is so precious to watch them work together as loving brothers (believe me, I never thought I'd see the day they didn't want to kill each other on an hourly basis!) They lost by one point in double-overtime last night. Brandon hit a shot at the buzzer to tie the game the first time, then went on to score 11 more points. I think he ended up with 23 of the 56 points in the game. He is usually leading scorer on the team- he is a big power forward. Chris is a guard so he doesn't take as many inside shots, but I think he still had 8 points. He did miss two free throws that would have won the game at the end of the first overtime, and he beat himself up pretty badly over that. However, his team didn't, and did a great job of telling him it wasn't his fault. At that point, his arms and legs were so tired, he could barely get the ball to the rim!
Scott and I had a long talk yesterday and decided to just be friends for now. I'm relieved and happy about that. He is truly a great guy, but I don't think it is right to introduce anyone into this family until some of the wounds have healed. I heard Chris say that he wasn't excited about Christmas since his father left and won't be here. I also think that I need some time to decide who I am as a single person, and not a member of a nuclear family unit. Right now, I need to figure out how to be mom and dad, and not place anyone else in the mix. I also told him that I thought it was only fair to anyone I might date to have the divorce final and the legal stuff hammered out first. No one needs to get drug through that muck! (Although the dh didn't feel that way, but living with this girl just gives me more ammunition if I need it- I sure don't want to give him any!)
Scott is still going to do things with us, and will still be there for Savannah to give her guidance (she chose him, and since he is willing to be someone she can go to, I'm forever grateful to him.) Who knows, God has better timing than the rest of us, and we agreed that He has someone wonderful out there for both of us- when the time is right!
For now, I'm wrapping up Christmas shopping and have to find time for some wrapping! And I've got to remember Jamie's shower, too!
The boys are playing high school basketball and the games started last week. Chris is a senior and Brandon a junior, and for the first time they are both starting. It is so precious to watch them work together as loving brothers (believe me, I never thought I'd see the day they didn't want to kill each other on an hourly basis!) They lost by one point in double-overtime last night. Brandon hit a shot at the buzzer to tie the game the first time, then went on to score 11 more points. I think he ended up with 23 of the 56 points in the game. He is usually leading scorer on the team- he is a big power forward. Chris is a guard so he doesn't take as many inside shots, but I think he still had 8 points. He did miss two free throws that would have won the game at the end of the first overtime, and he beat himself up pretty badly over that. However, his team didn't, and did a great job of telling him it wasn't his fault. At that point, his arms and legs were so tired, he could barely get the ball to the rim!
Scott and I had a long talk yesterday and decided to just be friends for now. I'm relieved and happy about that. He is truly a great guy, but I don't think it is right to introduce anyone into this family until some of the wounds have healed. I heard Chris say that he wasn't excited about Christmas since his father left and won't be here. I also think that I need some time to decide who I am as a single person, and not a member of a nuclear family unit. Right now, I need to figure out how to be mom and dad, and not place anyone else in the mix. I also told him that I thought it was only fair to anyone I might date to have the divorce final and the legal stuff hammered out first. No one needs to get drug through that muck! (Although the dh didn't feel that way, but living with this girl just gives me more ammunition if I need it- I sure don't want to give him any!)
Scott is still going to do things with us, and will still be there for Savannah to give her guidance (she chose him, and since he is willing to be someone she can go to, I'm forever grateful to him.) Who knows, God has better timing than the rest of us, and we agreed that He has someone wonderful out there for both of us- when the time is right!
For now, I'm wrapping up Christmas shopping and have to find time for some wrapping! And I've got to remember Jamie's shower, too!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
TWLForum.Com
http://www.twlforum.com
A great place for weight loss support- that is really support! We all hold each other up, pull each other along, and just generally goof off- all in the name of losing weight! I have lost 50 lbs and there are some there who have lost over 100! So we know what works and what doesn't! Come join this big set of losers!
A great place for weight loss support- that is really support! We all hold each other up, pull each other along, and just generally goof off- all in the name of losing weight! I have lost 50 lbs and there are some there who have lost over 100! So we know what works and what doesn't! Come join this big set of losers!
Jamie's Baby Shower
| Start: | Dec 15, '07 9:00p |
| Location: | ZB's page |
Saturday, December 1, 2007
My Prayer for You
I was going through old emails tonight and found this- I think I posted it in my blog a long time ago. This is my prayer for you.....
"I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God." — Ephesians 3:16-19
"I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God." — Ephesians 3:16-19
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