Answers? Who has the questions?

Listening to the preacher this morning got me a little confused. He was talking about Jonah, and how God had called him to do something he didn't want to do and... the rest is history. Funny thing is, Jonah knew what he was supposed to do! I sit here and wonder- how did he know? How was he so certain that God was sending him to Ninevah? Why didn't he have to think about it and pray about it and wonder like I do? How did he have the answers (even if he answered "no" and got in really big trouble!)

I think I'm doing something wrong- or not doing what I'm supposed to because I'm too dense to know what that is supposed to be anyway! I think I'm walking through this life blind and bumping into things, even though I know who and what the light is. I don't have the answers, and I don't really know what the questions were either!

Is anyone else this confused? Or am I making things harder than they're supposed to be?

Too Funny

Savannah went to a birthday party on Sunday. It was for a girl on her softball team- most of the team was there, but so were some of this girl's friends from school. Girls being girls, they were dressed up, hair looked nice... all but my tomboy! She had a fire department t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and camo capris on!

There were some boys at this party that we don't know- being from another school. One called Savannah's friend and asked for her phone number- said she was cute! Go figure- the one who wasn't dressed to impress.

We're gonna be in big trouble.

Prayers Galore

Wow! I hope you are all safe out there! Seems like I have heard about so many horrible things that have happened to people lately that we need to pray for:

1- Jewel's son Josh- pray for his healing and her sanity!
2- The guy on the motorcycle that they airlifted out of here yesterday. He has a lot of internal bleeding and tons of swelling. Prognosis not good.
3-The 10 year old in Charlotte who was victin of a hit-and run.
4- Drew Bates, a young man paralyzed from the chest down from an accident. For his recovery and mental sanity and his family caretakers.
5- The families of two 15 year old boys killed on 4-wheelers this weekend. (Not related accidents)
6- The fmaily of the Mexican construction worker who drowned on Saturday.
7- The family of Melissa Greer Polsky- 27 year old Charlotte meterologist who lost her battle with cancer this week. Leaves husband and tiny baby behind.
8- The families of two Charlotte police officers killed in the line of duty last month. One has a child in daycare down the road from where I work.

Please take an extra minute to get where you're going tomorrow- and stay a little safer!

Happy Thoughts

The grass is cut- and I did it all by myself! Got the mower battery charged and have a pretty lawn. Well, it would look nicer if I knew how to sharpen the blades, but oh well- it is so much better than when I started! Got the flower beds weeded and planted some tomato plants and a couple of other things. Somehow it now feels like spring. I know it was 80 here today and it felt more like summer, but there is something about planting and making the house pretty from the outside that feels like an awakening. Like the gray winter is over and it can be a glorious spring!

So I'm thinking happy thoughts today. Counting my blessings, and trying to pay attention to God, and what He wants me to do. I feel more of a peace with my life right now, like I know things are going to be fine, and I'll let Him take over my worries.

I say that knowing that Jewel is at the hospital with her 10 year old, who was hit by a car walking home from school on Friday. Maybe I can be so calm because I am so blessed. I feel bad for her, and feel like I'm so far away that I can't help her at all- other than pray of course. So help me pray for her and her son (and prayers for her daughter and granddaughter, too) that she can stay strong and healthy. Thanks!

Pray With Me (and Paul)

"I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God." — Ephesians 3:16-19

I read this in Bible study this week and almost cried. This is one of the most beautiful prayers ever. How much love, for people, for humanity, is contained in these verses! Join me in praying this prayer every day this week- for you, for me, for all those affected by the Virginia Tech shootings, for everyone who has a need in their life, for those who don't even realize what that need really is.

Enter the Phone Company

I got my phone bill today- and it is $50 higher than it is supposed to be! Seems that good old Bellsouth is charging me for THREE modems! Last time I looked, it only takes ONE- and that is all that I have! So I get the first guy- really helpful dude- greeted with a "how can I provide you superior service today?" greeting. He did good, but of course he wasn't the person I needed. So he transfers me . . . beautiful music . . . and a recording. one of those irritating "I'm a computer but I am trained to hear your answers" thing- but I guess it doesn't understand the southern accent, because I end up yessing "YES!!" at it and it still doesn't get it.

So after punching "0" (when I wanted to punch the wall) I got a helpful lady who also wanted to know how she could provide me superior service today. She is understanding the problem, but in fixing it leaves me on hold for, according to my phone, something under 18 minutes. But, she got me the credits I needed and hopefully has the bill straightened out now. We'll see on that one!

I still feel like the only person with sense in a sea of incompetency! AAAAAUGH!

So Confused

Maybe it is the storms coming through today, but I feel like my whole life is a storm. I can't make sense of which way I'm supposed to go and what I am supposed to be doing. And I really don't know how to figure it out, either.

Family- the boys are getting older and are almost self- sufficient- Chris did his first weekend with the National Guard this weekend and loved it. Brandon is at work right now. James came over today and frankly, I spent the whole time wishing he would just go away. Everything seems to be about what he wants and needs, and he really doesn't seem to hear me that I have needs, too. Ok, so maybe he does a little, but it is hard to see when he doesn't actually do anything to fulfill them.

Job- I think I told you some time back that they are expanding my children's choir position to encompass the children's ministry, too. I don't think that it will be enough pay to let me quit my day job, but it will be too many hours to make it possible to do both. And it will mean losing the money I do make there now. So I have to decide- and I don't know which one God is calling me to do. I don't really even know how to discern what He wants for my life.

Life- Funny topic but I think I really mean my Christian life. I feel tested- and I don't remember getting a study guide. I don't "hear" God like some people claim. I have a really hard time telling if the voice I hear is His wants for me or my own.

So, on this gray and stormy day, I just feel the storms building. Something is brewing- it feels like something important is happening, but will I know what do do when it does? Will I even recognize it when it does? Or am I just reacting to the weather and all the other storms around me?

edited to add: I just got this as the quote of the day! How appropriate!
We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?

- Ray Bradbury

Ok, it hasn't been that long! Now I wish he'd have told us what to do about it!

Good Luck Today

OK, someone had to remind me that it is Friday the 13th! Well, I'm not superstitious, but some things have to be noticed! So I'm proclaiming it good luck day! I have had some good luck today- paid my taxes (hey- at least I had the money to pay them); took my brother to rehab and watched him walk with a walker (go bro!); am babysitting my autistic nephew this afternoon which is forcing me to get some laundry done (can't do much else at mom's house); I have great friends who leave me wonderful messages (thanks guys!) ; I have a cool daughter who is tons of fun to be with, especially since school is out this week! She is a great best friend!

Luck is what we make it- I know I could complain about the broken lawnmower, or the price of gas (or milk, Leah?) or watching Chris go to the National Guard for the first time today, or a million other things, but I'm not looking at that stuff. I am happy with me and where I am and will go with that! So go away bad luck- I'm not going to put up with you!

Pollen Wars

Welcome to the South in springtime! Pollen covers the world here- it is really amazing to see it build up on the cars, sidewalks, etc. Right now, it is building up in my head! I feel like I have an icky cold. Claritin usually works, but I have been so busy I forgot to take it, and if I don't take it before it gets bad, it gets bad! So I'm in for a few days of Benadryl and nose blowing.

I love NC (except for these two weeks every year!)

Quote of the Day

I thought this was so good that I wanted to put it somewhere I could find it again . . .

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. - Samuel McChord Crothers