Pay it Forward (or is that backward?)

I was just going to PM this to Kippy- who will really appreciate it, but it was too good not to share with everyone. I was in line at a fast food place today and when I got to the window, the lady told me that the car in front paid for my food.

"Why?" I asked. "Did she know me?"

The window lady told me no, that actually I was the 7th car in line to have this happen. Someone started it by paying for the person behind them, then that car paid for the person behind them, and so on and so on until it got to me. She was smiling big, obviously enjoying being the bearer of good news to one car after another.

Unfortunately, there was no car behind me to keep it going. But I think I'll try it next time I'm in line- see if we can start it all over again!

When is Nana Coming Home? The eulogy.

I haven't been here much this week because, if you didn't know, my grandmother died on December 23. She was 87 and had Altzheimer's, so it was a blessing that she is no longer trapped here on earth. It was still sad, but more a time of celebration and remembrance for us all. I had thought about posting this earlier, then Scott suggested that I do it. This is the eulogy that my brother and I gave at my grandmother's funeral on Sunday, December 27, 2009. (My brother's parts show up in red type- we handed this back and forth.)

When is Nana coming home?

When I think back over a lifetime of knowing this wonderful woman, one phrase sticks out in my mind- When is Nana coming home? You see, she lived with us- kinda. She really lived with whoever she thought needed her the most but our house was her home base. She lived in Charlotte during the week, with Uncle Elmer, or Wanda, but she would usually come home, to my house in Denver, on the weekends. Usually. Some weekends, I would spend all weekend asking “when is Nana coming home?” because she would never show up. She was really bad at calling, and several times I remember my mother saying that something was going to happen, she was going to be lying in a ditch somewhere and we wouldn’t know it until she didn’t show up for work on Monday morning.

You see, I looked for Nana because, I have to tell you, she was FUN! She took my brother and I lots of places, out to eat, to the Ice Capades, to the Circus, to Mr. Zollycopher’s store for gum, oh and don’t forget that time we went to Carowinds. Mom and Dad would take us to Carowinds and put us on rides and meet us at the end.. Mom never rode anything faster than the carousel. But not Nana! She would get off one ride and head for the next almost faster than I could keep up. She was having just as much fun as we were.

That is true- she was tireless. She built homemade see-saws out of logs and boards. She made fishing poles from bamboo and taught us to catch fish with bread and worms, we built tinker toy towers, and she taught to appreciate playing with our cousins. Because often, she would include our cousins in these adventures. Whether we went over to Wanda’s to play with Lara and Scott and Heather, or we took Ken and Greg with us to the lake, or took Ginny’s grandson Tommy with us on an adventure, or went to Aunt Louise and Uncle Pink’s to learn how to play Rook the “Sifford way” Nana was the catalyst. I suppose we were lucky in a way that there were only two of us, but she had enough energy for more and she managed to include our cousins and friends on a pretty regular basis. So “when is Nana coming home” was something you heard around our house a lot.

But it didn’t start out that way. You see, I had an “older sister.” She took you places but forgot that, although I was the baby, that I was getting older and might want in on the fun. So one day, I was maybe 3 years old at the time, when she was bundling you off to the lake once again, I stood up and emphatically stated “I GO TO LAKE, TOO!” but from then on, she had two children or more in tow wherever she went.

She was a strong and independent lady. It wasn’t too common to see divorced women in the 1940’s and at the time it carried a real social stigma. You see, she had my mom 10 days after she turned 16 and was quietly divorced soon after. But she had the strength to raise my mother as a single parent.

When Mom was about 6 months old, Nana had to have her appendix taken out. The doctor who did the surgery asked if he could adopt Nana’s baby girl. She emphatically told him “no.” When he remarked that a 16 year old girl couldn’t raise a baby on her own, she told him “well just watch me!” And she did an incredible job!

Nana was strong, determined, independent, and, to tell the truth, just a wee bit bossy sometimes. The only time we didn’t ask “When is Nana coming home?” was when we were sick. She was the true Florence Nightingale of the family, taking care of whoever needed her most at the time. I always said she should have had a degree in nursing. When Aunt Bessie had her first stroke, she decided Uncle Elmer needed her- so in she went (whether he wanted her to or not!) Then Uncle James got Altzheimers, so it was off to Aunt Cille’s to help her with his care. And Aunt Louise- you guessed it, she was right there. And Uncle Albert Franklin- yes, she cared for him too. But there was a catch- you see, for as wonderful a nurse, and as helpful and generous a person as she was, we hated to have her around if we were sick. Why? Because she had some of the smelliest cures known to man for whatever ailed you. Cold? Well Vicks Vaporrub was the best cure. Sore throat? Chloroseptic was the answer!. A cut must have mecurichrome. Sore muscles or a bad bruise? Have you ever smelled Absorbine Jr? Ick! They may have worked, but when you’re a kid and you don’t feel good, you don’t want someone rubbing smelly stuff all over you. That’s the only time I remember saying “Nana’s not coming home, is she?”

There was that one time though that I was glad to have her around. Right after college, I got mono. It was right before Christmas, and I had had it for about a week. I’d spent the first half of the week afraid I was going to die, and the second half of the week afraid that I wasn’t going to die, when Nana came to the rescue. She came to my little duplex apartment in Greensboro and bundled me up and took me home. She spent probably the next week putting cold washcloths on my head, feeding me what little I felt like eating, and trying to get my fever to stay down. I would have welcomed any smelly thing she had if it would have made me feel better!

As good of a caregiver as she was, she was a horrible patient! I think she took it as a personal insult that a germ dared to enter her body. Like many who get the disease, when Nana got Altzheimer’s we didn’t know what was going on at first. This capable, independent woman was all of a sudden ordering the same thing three times. I think everyone we know got a copy of the Southern Living Cookbook for Christmas one year. And she became paranoid that people were stealing her things. And then one day she went on her quest to rid Hwy 16 of garbage, which was typical of her, but she got lost as she lost sight of the house. As we began to see what affect this disease was having on her, to the point that she didn’t know us, had to live in a nursing home, was back to “Baking Biscuits” with her mother, and especially after she broke her hip three years ago and could no longer walk, I began to ask “When is Nana going home?” There is a time that you know life is better in the arms of the Creator than it is here on earth. And I began to look forward to the day that she would be free of this disease, probably pestering Jesus to go heal someone, and would once again be that carefree, strong, independent and fun woman that she used to be. That day has come. I’ll never ask “When is Nana coming home” again, for now, today, she IS home.

And they went with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. (Luke 2:16)

My sweet Nana went to heaven this morning... thank goodness. The end of an Altzheimer's patient's life isn't fun for them or the family. She's at peace now.

The Great Ornament Exchange 2009

Here they are! My set is complete, well, if you don't count that I took Kat's to church for our winter sports tree in children's worship. She saved me- I was having a hard time finding an ornament with a winter sports theme, and she sends ice skates! So no picture of that, but a big thanks for rescuing me once again, Kat!

Photo Album 2009-12-20

The Christmas Quiz- lifted from Bill

1) Wrapping paper or gift bags? I like wrapping paper but there are some things that just work better in gift bags.

2) Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. Way less mess!

3) When do you put up the tree? After Thanksgiving

4) When do you take the tree down? After Christmas

5) Do you like eggnog? It's ok.

6) Favorite gift received as a child? Probably the opal ring my parent's bought me for my 16th Christmas.

7) Hardest person to buy for? My stepdad. He's one of those guys that if he needs it, he buys it.

8) Easiest person to buy for? My daughter- she wants everything!

9) Do you have a nativity scene? One full one and part of another (I have the Mary and Joseph from the Willow Tree collection- maybe some nice person will get me the others to go along with these!)

10) Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail is so fun, but I can do email too.

11) Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I really don't remember if there was a worst ever- we usually got things we needed (like underwear and socks) but I don't remember them being bad.

12) Favorite Christmas Movie? Wow- I like them all! Favorite, probably Its a Wonderful Life. And I love the Santa Clause!

13) When do you start shopping for Christmas? November

14) Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, but I have threatened to. Early on in my grandmother's Altzheimers, when we didn't know what was happening, she would leave gifts in their boxes and hide them. I threatened to re-wrap them and see if she noticed.

15) Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? All the good chocolate treats! Oh, and my mom makes the best party mix with Life cereal.

16) Lights on the tree? Loaded with white lights.

17) Favorite Christmas song? Do You Hear What I Hear?

18) Travel at Christmas or stay home? Home.

19) Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Not according to Trivial Pursuit. There's a question that asks how many reindeer Santa has- I rattled off Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and Rudolph. That's nine. The answer was eight!

20)Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel

21) Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We do a gift exchange with the entire family on Christmas Eve, so everyone gets a present, and then open everything else on Christmas morning.

22) Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Rude people crowding in the stores. I swear yesterday must have been "go really slow down the center of the aisle so no one can get by" say at WalMart.

23) Favorite ornament theme or color? I'm a traditional girl, so red and green. But I love that snow blue that is new out this year, it just doesn't fit in my traditional house.

24) Favorite for Christmas dinner? sweet potato souffle!

25) What do you want to do for Christmas this year? Enjoy it with my family and friends

I see snow! Which in this part of the world in December is unheard of! Yay!

Not enjoying my liquid snow today. If it is going to be this cold, it should snow. Oh well, at least it isn't ice!

2nd concert better than the first!! One more to go this afternoon!

Tree's up!

Now it feels like Christmas!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Say an extra prayer- first concert is tonight! We're ready- I hope it goes well!