One morning, a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading".
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start fishing at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"For reading a book?" she replies.
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start fishing at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," said the game warden, and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I'm a Thief!
Yep, I stole it from too many people to mention! Haven't posted anything in a bit except for my Bible study, so enjoy!
Five names you go by:
1. Janeen
2. Momma
3. Dish
4. Aunt Neen
5. J
1. Janeen
2. Momma
3. Dish
4. Aunt Neen
5. J
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Shirt
2. Jeans
3. A quilt (I'm cold!)
Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. Warm weather and sunshine
2. To lose 20 lbs
3. Child support
Two people who will probably fill this out:
1. Kat
2. Abby
Two things you did last night:
1. Pulled weeds
2. Went to bed early
Two things you ate today:
1. Eggo waffles with blueberries
2. Frosted Flakes cereal with milk
Two people you last talked to on the phone last night:
1. Scott
2. My Mom
Two things you are going to do tomorrow
1. Work
2. Go to Brandon's baseball game if it quits raining
Two of your favorite beverages:
1. Lemon water with Splenda
Monday, March 16, 2009
This is Spot On!
| You Should Light a Lavender Candle |
 In your group of friends, you are the intuitive one. You understand and empathize with others. You're the type of person who appreciates beauty. You see can see hope and potential. You genuinely kind and nurturing. You don't like conflict or chaos. You only want peace. |
What Scent Candle Should You Light?
Funny thing is I totally agree with this! Usually, they're ok, but not totally accurate. This one pegs me after 5 questions!
Funny thing is I totally agree with this! Usually, they're ok, but not totally accurate. This one pegs me after 5 questions!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
What Do I Really Want in a Man
Someone asked me this question yesterday, and it has me thinking. What do I want? What is a must-have and what are would-be-nice-to-haves and what are deal-breakers?
He must:
*Be a Christian and attend church regularly
*Be someone who loves my children and realizes that I will put them first
*Be intentional about money management
*Love to travel and be willing to try new things
*Have a car and a driver's license
*Be grounded in his beliefs
*Be able to take care of himself- know how to do laundry, do his own paperwork, wash dishes, etc. (not that I wouldn't help or even do it, but I don't want to be his mother!)
*Put my needs first sometimes (be there for me when I need him)
*Have good hygiene
*Have a job/career
*Respect women (that means no porn!)
*Love me just the way I am (love me for me, not who he wants me to be or who I have to change myself to be!)
It would be nice if he:
*Liked going to musicals, concerts, etc.
*Didn't smoke
*Was laid back and easy going
*Had blue eyes (I'm a sucker for blue eyes!)
*Was romantic enough to at least attempt a surprise every now and then
*Was handy with things around the house
*Helped with the dishes every now and then
*Had conservative views of politics
*Was educated and well-spoken
*Wants to please me and see me be happy!
I will not tolerate:
*Abusiveness
*Drunkenness (beyond an occasional extra drink)
*Laziness that causes financial problems
*Anything that hurts my children
Finding all this is another story entirely, because I'm sure you could parade around 10 men who totally fit this description and I wouldn't be attracted to any of them! But at least I can figure out what I want, what I can live with, and what I refuse to live with.
Now, what have I left out? I'm thinking of what I've had and what I'm used to, so I'm sure there are things I'm not even considering.
He must:
*Be a Christian and attend church regularly
*Be someone who loves my children and realizes that I will put them first
*Be intentional about money management
*Love to travel and be willing to try new things
*Have a car and a driver's license
*Be grounded in his beliefs
*Be able to take care of himself- know how to do laundry, do his own paperwork, wash dishes, etc. (not that I wouldn't help or even do it, but I don't want to be his mother!)
*Put my needs first sometimes (be there for me when I need him)
*Have good hygiene
*Have a job/career
*Respect women (that means no porn!)
*Love me just the way I am (love me for me, not who he wants me to be or who I have to change myself to be!)
It would be nice if he:
*Liked going to musicals, concerts, etc.
*Didn't smoke
*Was laid back and easy going
*Had blue eyes (I'm a sucker for blue eyes!)
*Was romantic enough to at least attempt a surprise every now and then
*Was handy with things around the house
*Helped with the dishes every now and then
*Had conservative views of politics
*Was educated and well-spoken
*Wants to please me and see me be happy!
I will not tolerate:
*Abusiveness
*Drunkenness (beyond an occasional extra drink)
*Laziness that causes financial problems
*Anything that hurts my children
Finding all this is another story entirely, because I'm sure you could parade around 10 men who totally fit this description and I wouldn't be attracted to any of them! But at least I can figure out what I want, what I can live with, and what I refuse to live with.
Now, what have I left out? I'm thinking of what I've had and what I'm used to, so I'm sure there are things I'm not even considering.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
What would you do?
I'm just posting this to a select few who know me well and also who I trust to give me their real opinions.
Ok, so you know that I've said over and over that Scott feels like my soulmate. I'm so comfortable with him that we can finish each others' sentences, often knowing what the other is thinking without spoken communication. But I've never really told you what is holding me back from making the relationship more.
First, I think I have told you about the strange deja vu feelings I get sometimes- he'll do something just like the ex would, and it hits me full force. Been here. Then, he has shared a lot of his personal problems with me, the tops of the list being his alcoholism and his financial difficulties. Ex was an uncontrolled alcoholic, and still can't manage money at all. Scott's been on the wagon and finances are a little different, in that he's a broke college student trying to make ends meet, not a poor manager of what he does have.
Other things are little- the both are UNC fans (who I don't like!); both love playing basketball; the thinning hair and blue eyes; and, almost the deal-breaker- both really need a mother or a personal manager. A rescuer. Which I have done once and don't want to do again. So I've stayed at arms length.
4:43 am this morning the phone rings. Scott has fallen off the wagon- big time. He worked a double last night and when I talked to him at 10:30pm, he was stopping to eat and going home to crash. Instead, one of his friends who he hasn't seen in awhile calls and wants him to meet him at a bar. No telling how late they stayed out, except bars here close at 2am so it couldn't be much later than that. Apparently, a deputy woke him up in his car- halfway home- at 4:30am and asked who could come get him. Of course I did (he can't stay, and he gets a DWI if he drives- which he's probably really lucky that he didn't get anyway! Because he doesn't know where he was or how he got there.)
He's soul searching today- really wants to get back on the wagon and stay there, but fears he won't. I'm reeling with my enabler tendencies- they're trying to work overtime, and I have done a good job squelching them to this point. My dilemma- do I stay or do I go? He is my best friend, and I really want to help however I can. However, it feels like the same cycle I went through with my ex. And I do NOT want to go there again. Can I help without enabling? I don't know. Should I, or should I watch as he potentially crashes? I really do love him, but I can't let myself love him the way I would like to. He is a really good guy, and one night doesn't change that, and he is a Christian, which is way more than the ex ever was. So I don't want it to sound like he's rotten, just maybe a little lost. I just want to keep my eyes wide open in this relationship, not sweep things under the carpet like I did with my ex.
Ok, bless you for reading this far. Somehow this was cathartic just getting it out here. So whatever you think (and Kat, I really respect what you're going to tell me, because you always seem to lean as far down the skeptical path as I lean down the trusting one), please help me see an outsider's point of view in all this.
Ok, so you know that I've said over and over that Scott feels like my soulmate. I'm so comfortable with him that we can finish each others' sentences, often knowing what the other is thinking without spoken communication. But I've never really told you what is holding me back from making the relationship more.
First, I think I have told you about the strange deja vu feelings I get sometimes- he'll do something just like the ex would, and it hits me full force. Been here. Then, he has shared a lot of his personal problems with me, the tops of the list being his alcoholism and his financial difficulties. Ex was an uncontrolled alcoholic, and still can't manage money at all. Scott's been on the wagon and finances are a little different, in that he's a broke college student trying to make ends meet, not a poor manager of what he does have.
Other things are little- the both are UNC fans (who I don't like!); both love playing basketball; the thinning hair and blue eyes; and, almost the deal-breaker- both really need a mother or a personal manager. A rescuer. Which I have done once and don't want to do again. So I've stayed at arms length.
4:43 am this morning the phone rings. Scott has fallen off the wagon- big time. He worked a double last night and when I talked to him at 10:30pm, he was stopping to eat and going home to crash. Instead, one of his friends who he hasn't seen in awhile calls and wants him to meet him at a bar. No telling how late they stayed out, except bars here close at 2am so it couldn't be much later than that. Apparently, a deputy woke him up in his car- halfway home- at 4:30am and asked who could come get him. Of course I did (he can't stay, and he gets a DWI if he drives- which he's probably really lucky that he didn't get anyway! Because he doesn't know where he was or how he got there.)
He's soul searching today- really wants to get back on the wagon and stay there, but fears he won't. I'm reeling with my enabler tendencies- they're trying to work overtime, and I have done a good job squelching them to this point. My dilemma- do I stay or do I go? He is my best friend, and I really want to help however I can. However, it feels like the same cycle I went through with my ex. And I do NOT want to go there again. Can I help without enabling? I don't know. Should I, or should I watch as he potentially crashes? I really do love him, but I can't let myself love him the way I would like to. He is a really good guy, and one night doesn't change that, and he is a Christian, which is way more than the ex ever was. So I don't want it to sound like he's rotten, just maybe a little lost. I just want to keep my eyes wide open in this relationship, not sweep things under the carpet like I did with my ex.
Ok, bless you for reading this far. Somehow this was cathartic just getting it out here. So whatever you think (and Kat, I really respect what you're going to tell me, because you always seem to lean as far down the skeptical path as I lean down the trusting one), please help me see an outsider's point of view in all this.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Make your own Album Cover
I stole this from Mouse, who got it from someone named Wendy who is a friend of WelshDoug's.... and look how perfect this one turned out!
Make your own album cover:
1 - Go to Wikipedia’s “random” page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to Quotations Page’s "random quotations":
http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote on the page is the title of your album.
3 - Go to Flickr and click “explore last seven days”
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it together.
5 - Post your photo to your page!
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