I read a blog this morning about a "gaffe" by Jennifer Aniston where she referred to herself as a "retard." The writer of this article lambasted her for degrading mentally handicapped people, calling her "insensitively stupid." It really struck me, enough that I issued the following comment: "I have to disagree with you. It is people like yourself who perpetuate the stigma associated with such archaic words like “retard.” No one still calls a mentally handicapped person a “retard.” (ok, not many civilized people, anyway.) They may refer to them as retarded, but more often than not try to pinpoint the handicap than wholly classifying them. Like it or not, the term “retard” is mostly used by fully functioning people to point out a stupid thing that they, or someone close to them, has done. In this sense, Jennifer totally used the word correctly. She was not putting down mentally handicapped people, nor referring to them at all! It is articles like this one that keep the stigma alive!!"
Are we too sensitive to words like this? Or should we all be carefully guarding each word that comes out of our mouths, lest we offend someone? I say get over it! We're too sensitive, and too ready to claim the victim when no offense was intended.
It's all PC crap
ReplyDeleteIts not a word I use much either. But I have now and then and at those times it did really fit the situation. However my bf hates people using that word. He sees it as making fun of the handicapped too. But in one of these situations the word truly described what I was seeing and I told him so. So now I find I have to be careful when I do need to use it, to make him understand first that its not about handicapped people. This really ticks me off.
ReplyDeleteThis world has become so PC that you cant say anything anymore without someone taking it the wrong way and becoming offended. Its nuts. So now I have to watch how I say things because someone somewhere just might get ticked off? Grow up people geez its just words.
I have a nephew who is autistic. I would never use this word to refer to him or someone like him. Usually it is used toward one of my children who just does something that they should have known not to do!
ReplyDeleteThe word police are always out. I totally agree with you. I've been "reprimanded" by certain people on here too (for using words like moron and idiot)(usually referring to myself or the dogs...)(and since we are, I don't care). True, those are technically 'medical terms' referring to a specific mentality of human. But as you say---it's part of the language now. If someone is that sensitive, they don't have to be friends with me. I won't be offended, I'll be relieved.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I'm tired of it. Usually the ones who point it out are stick-up-the-ass types who want to seem holier than thou, and always correct. Screw em.
A colleague of mine was terminated for using that word lightly, loosely...in "jest". It was a big nasty mess in the school community...(happened in Park City, Utah) The "teacher" was ... well, she was also a bartender at night and was a rather rough person. She meant nothing derogatory by her remark and was astonished when she lost her day job. She hasn't returned to teaching since.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it makes any difference what Jennifer Aniston says, but a teacher does need to be careful with words.......................
I agree with your response when it comes to someone like a celebrity who isn't responsible for young lives...........but when it's teaching or coaching or other forms of child care....it might be something to avoid. Children really do pick up on messages we aren't aware of...and phrases will go straight into their hearts and minds, so it IS important what we say and how we say it....
but Jennifer Aniston??? who cares???
I like that saying.........when someone points a finger at you...........remind them there are 3 more pointing back at them. :) That says it all really.
ReplyDeleteSociety has become too sensitive words and labels. In Jennifer's case her use was only for herself pointing out she was "delayed in progress" which is the meaning of the word in the first place.
ReplyDeleteYes, Janeen. People are too sensitive about words. Degrading oneself for doing something silly, stupid or unintended has for ages upon ages been referred to as 'retarded'. The true meaning of the word is NOT an insult. It is a description of a slowing down of something - like using a fire retardant when making things for use in a home, such as furniture or upholstery. It also means a mental slowing down - not quick or fast thinking, slow. *shrugs*
ReplyDeleteWe are now living in a society of victims. Words must be criminalized, along with everything else that we do, else we become a victim.
*shakes head*
I agree with you, Janeen. Get over it, please.
I do concede with that Libby said...a teacher needs to be careful. Little minds are very impressionable and that is their responsibility to show a good example (thereby being Word Police themselves). Otherwise, I get SO tired of this politically correct stuff. It's a pendulum effect I think. We're swinging over to the extreme side and eventually it will settle down again.
ReplyDeleteYou know how it was when we (well, I am older than all of you..) were little... but spanking was not only OK but teachers lambasted kids in class too. Now, a parent will go to jail for smacking some smart mouthed little brat who deserves it!! And forget if a teacher uses corporal punishment!
To play devil's advocate for a moment, if a teacher has to be careful about the words they use, why not someone in a public eye all the time, whom many young girls might idolize and look up to as the person they want to be?
ReplyDeletedammit...
ReplyDeletewell, I suppose everyone should be careful what they say, when it all boils down. But since we aren't, because some of us are retards...what can I say?
Here in the Netherlands we use the Dutch equivalent for retarded quite often. It has, in our society, not much to do anymore with people who are mentally handicapped. The word has almost lost that meaning.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher I won't use it, by the way, because it's not considered a nice word. You don't use it in a friendly or civilized way.
For Jennifer to use that word ... well, more than anything it shows her lack of style. But if that's what she thinks of herself who are we to disagree? ;)
*laughing* haha. You know, I don't have a strong opinion about this one way or another. But I DO think that people who have put themselves in a position to be a sort of "role model" one way or another (teacher, actor/actress, big brother/big sister, church leader, etc.) have a sort of responsibility that comes with the title. Now, whether they choose to live up to it or not, absolutely their choice. But you can't ask people not to react, y'know? I mean, if _I_ were to call myself a retard (not a thing you would EVER hear come from me), no one would ever care. I'm not in a position to influence young minds or anything. But when someone as beautiful and talented and intelligent as she may be, disparages herself with that kind of language, well, I do think it might send a bad message to impressionable young girls. :)
ReplyDeleteOddly, reading it made me think that she's just "people", and that's the impression she would give to girls out there. She doesn't think of herself as anything special, and she does dumb things like everyone else. It's more of a message to be yourself...everyone sees things in their own way. You really can't win or please everyone.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of politically correct, when it comes to crime why are 'suspects' now called 'persons of interest'? Was some poor little ol' murderer offended by the word 'suspect'? Just thought someone might know.
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY....things are overboard now.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Kat! I wonder what it is in us that makes us see her statement in such different ways? You are, however, SO right. Can't win or please everyone. :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I took it like Kat did- I thought it was refreshing that she didn't think so highly of herself all the time. It wasn't directed at anyone but herself. However, I didn't think about the angle that Susan (libbylovestowrite) or Kippy pointed out. I always took great pains with my kids to not call them derogatory names (about the lowest I'll go is "silly"), especially with Chris and his low self esteem. I do think teachers should do the same- build up kids instead of tear them down. They have enough of that in their heads already. I still don't think that was Jennifer's context, though, except maybe it gives us insight into what the voices inside her head tell her about herself.
ReplyDeleteI should add that I love seeing it when actors and actresses show their "real people" side. I just wouldn't have enjoyed this particular one. :) But then, I'm not a huge Jennifer Aniston fan, either, so it is entirely possible that my opinion is a bit tainted!
ReplyDeleteI'm very conscious of things that might offend. I had to try to explain to Savannah why she couldn't have something with a confederate flag on it. It is our heritage (both sides of the family go back to pre-revolutionary war south) but I do understand that it has become a symbol of racial hatred. I don't like it, but I understand it and stay away. But where do you stop? Can I offend someone by calling myself cheap? Clumsy?
ReplyDeleteOh, and why can the blogger call Jennifer "stupid" but Jennifer can't refer to herself as a "retard?"
ReplyDelete*laugh* Oh, yes, I didn't agree with the writer, either! I think you were right to speak your mind. And yes, I totally get where you're coming from at taking things too far, too. We have become a nation of oversensitivity. Not that I think we should be INsensitive, but man, there has to be some kind of balance we can reach, huh?
ReplyDeleteI think...the thing that offends ME most, is the writer!! Who gives a rat's ass what she thinks is "proper"? I may bite her.
ReplyDeleteKat, I think the whole world would be a better place if we all behaved/communicated more like dogs. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are dead right Janeen. There are always people ready to pounce. Leave people alone for heaven's sake.
ReplyDeleteYes...I guess that is true, isn't it? That celebs are role models for kids these days.....hadn't considered that, actually.......................
ReplyDelete:)
And probably far more so than teachers................... sigh.
I agree!
ReplyDeletePolitical correctness is socialism and people control... They've taken over the language.
ReplyDeleteGotta agree with you there, momma! Seems like too many people these days find offense at the least little thing, and run around like anally retarded chickens (chickens with their heads up their a**, o wait, I can't say that, someone might be offended, so I'll just say "nether-regions"...o wait...I can't say that either....might offend a priest....um, ok..let's just say derrière.....o wait, I can't say that either, I might offend the French, trying to be "politically correct".....).
ReplyDeleteLet's just agree that I'm not politically correct, lol ~ (good post, btw)
I am not politically correct. The way I think about it, if someone gets their grundies in a bundle over the specific use of a word. The person with the problem isn't me, it's them. They are making a choice to be offended by a word, even though we all know that most words in the English language have multiple and often times different meanings depending on the situations where they are used.
ReplyDeleteI've had (now long gone, and thank God for it) friends get mad at me because I did something stupid and said "that was retarded" referring to myself, and the action I had committed. They called me an insensitive jerk. So I showed them just how Insensitive I was, told them what I thought of all the Politically Correct bullshit in this society and the people that spout it off, and told them where they could shove it, and how deep, and not to forget to rotate afterwords.
They took offense.
Sorry, but if something I have said has hurt someones 'wittle feewins' they have given me entirely too much power over their emotional well being and are the ones with the problem. Not me.
Last to the game, but here is my two cents ;) I personally avoid the term "retard" in public because I don't know if it will or won't hurt someone's feelings, which I am sensitive to, since I am an huge advocate of the developmentally disabled. I don't know if a relative or a parent of someone born with a disability would have their feelings hurt by the word, so I work at avoiding it. However, in company I know well (like family) I use it because I think I should be able to..."retard" means slow in learning. It doesn't mean someone with a disability like Down Syndrom or Autism -- just like you said, it was transferred in to that due to the original meaning of the word. "Retard" as a verb for "slowing down" (etc) became an immature way to name-call and offend others.
ReplyDeleteI love saying something is "retarded"...because I feel like I should be able to own my own vocabulary, not the PC police. Plus it is a fun word to say :)
Thanks guys, for the different perspective. I'm thinking we need a concise list of words that could offend (I wouldn't have thought of this as one) or we just need to get over it. I vote for getting over it!
ReplyDeleteI also went back to that blog and my comment hasn't been approved. In fact, there are no comments! I find that hard to believe, unless this blogger doesn't like people to disagree with them. I happen to like open dialogue, even if the person I'm talking to has a different viewpoint!
ahhhh the world of PC ! I don't subscribe but like Kat, we have been asked by some to please refrain from using that specific word. So I do try out of respect for a friend to do that but know that it goes against my grain to have to monitor myself in such a fashion. OR as some say, walk on eggshells. I personally use the word all the time, mostly to describe myself or some dear friend who is being silly. And no I would never call someone who was mentally challenged "retarded". That being said, I still think there is too much emphasis put on the word because it has a literal meaning of "to make slow" or "hinder" such as in a flame retardant would hinder flames from spreading. I would go so far as to say the people who put "other" definitions for the word in front of these definitions are the ones fanning the flame.
ReplyDeleteAnd to me, that's GAY (haha)
I feel like our society is overly critical, waiting for a chance to pounce on any perceived offense. This is one of too many examples.
ReplyDeleteGo fly a kite, Sandy-tard.
ReplyDeleteAren't you two glad that you can be politically incorrect on my page?
ReplyDeleteJaneenland is a nice place that refuses to stifle creativity.
ReplyDeleteYes you are absolutely right Janeen. People are much too fast to victimise and judge.
ReplyDelete